i have been told my entire life that it is never ok to quit. no matter what you have to finish what you started. you made a commitment and you will follow it through.

all of this is good advice right? yeah, for the most part. but what about when the thing you are participating in starts making you question who you are and what you want? if you feel like you aren’t in a situation that makes you happy or excited to be apart of then should you keep spending time and energy on that activity?

no.

it was the hardest thing for me to quit my sorority. i thought about it for MONTHS. from the moment i pledged i wondered if that was really what i wanted and if i would be growing from the experience even in the slightest. and i can tell you i have grown from the experience, just not at all in ways i was expecting.

i learned that it is ok to find out you don’t like something that on paper you should love! it is ok to not be the person that everyone said you perfectly fit a mold to be. it is ok to disappoint some people if it means that you pursue you.

My whole life i’ve been told that i don’t know who i am and that i really need to find myself and hurry up doing it. when asked who you are its a hard question to answer, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t know. knowing yourself isn’t just about your likes and your dislikes. its about your experiences and who they’ve made you and there is no need to hurry up. live and learn and feel and encounter and love yourself and who you become in the process.

and if you know who you are don’t let yourself wavier. don’t try to impress others fitting you into a stereotype. moving onto new parts of your life can be hard, but no matter what you always have you. don’t drink because your friends do- if that isn’t something you enjoy. find people that instead of peer pressuring you into doing something you dislike, they plan and do things that you like because they like your company and

never finished this oops

i watched a video today with the title ‘have you found your soul mate’ and it got me thinking. do i believe in soul mates? what is a soul mate? as the video went on it brought more questions. is this idea like that of fate or destiny? and do i believe in those ideas?

i think the idea of fate and destiny is idealistic. these are ideas you see in movies. you watch as people find their person that was put on the earth for them and start living their dream fulfilling the reason they were put on this earth. i’d like that to be real, and i’d like to believe that is real- but i’m not sure i do. and if i don’t believe in those does that mean i shouldn’t believe in a soul mate?

as i keep watching the video i realize that what i previously believed the definition of soul mate to be just might be a little skewed from what they are speaking on. i noticed that it was just referring to a person. any person. not just a romantic partner and from this point on i wholeheartedly believed that i had a soul mate.

every word this video spoke i heard: elyse.

from the moment i met this girl we had an immediate connection and since then i have never felt a bond like ours. i have had bestfriends in the past, but she is more than that phrase could ever do justice. this person is the person who knows me in and out. anytime i’m even the slightest bit off this girl knows. she has kept me thinking, accountable, safe, loved, in shape. she has wiped my tears more times than i could count. i have never felt the slightest bit of discomfort or uneasiness while with her and that i’m not sure i could say for anyone else on this earth.

this relationship is so hard to describe. this bond to me is so intellectual. we talk and think and force each other to do so. anytime i am with her i feel a need to talk about her. instead of the societal push to always talk about myself i get a complete shift. i want to hear about her and her experiences. i feel so close and immersed and emotionally invested in her life. like we are connected in some way.

we haven’t been around each other very much in the past year due to our age difference and the fact that i am in college now, but this whole time and distance hasn’t changed anything. i can call her and i know she would be here in moments if i needed her. maybe soul mate is the wrong word, but i know that elyse and i have a connection i have never felt before and i will never feel again. she is special in so many ways. she is strong and intriguing and some one i will never feel like i’ve had enough time with.

to my soul mate: you’ve changed me. you’ve helped mold me and my mind. you’ve pushed me when i believed i can no longer be pushed. and most importantly you’ve truly loved all of me unconditionally.

well i looked up online how to start a blog and it gave me this outline so i’m going to follow it. 

1. who are you?

deep question to start, but i’ll keep it simple. 

my name is alexis and i am a college student. brown hair, blue eyes, if you saw me you’d think im 12- as most people do- and you’d laugh when i said i’m 19.  i’ve tried to blog before, but never stuck to it. help me keep this up!!!

     2. why are you blogging?

i feel  like i’m a normal 19 year old. nothing really special, but i have a lot to say and i need a place to do it. so welcome. 

     3.what is your blog going to be about? 

honestly not sure what this is going to be about. just whatever i’m inspired by. i imagine it’ll be uplifting at times. lots of my personal opinions and stories i’m sure. 

     4.what are you writing for?

an outlet. not sure if anyone will ever read this, and im not too worried about it. i like writing and NEVER do it. i like thinking and figuring out me and what i believe and like, which i haven’t done in a long time either. for fun. for release. and maybe someday to help someone else

       5. PSA

if you are worried about grammar, spelling, or punctuation leave now 🙂

people in high school called me lexi, but in college i’ve started going by alexis again. kind of a re branding maybe? 

 

love alexis